daniel2
06-07-2008, 01:10 AM
Ok mainly the way I'm going to be writing this is in the Male wants to get Closer to a female way. But it can be used vicer versa too if you swap a few things around.
I'll quickly tell you what you should expect.
This is mainly a tut for getting closer to someone you have already befriended. It wont be in steps and all of these should be options you are able to use. I've made it pretty versatile.
First things first. You have to know what you want from this person.
Ask yourself things like am I happy where I am now with him/her or do I want more, like to kiss or touch this person?
You have to know what you want from them before you even start to try and get what you want. Many people forget what they originally wanted on the way to actually getting it. So always remember what you desire from her/him.
The next step is having enough courage to actually try your best for what you want and not chicken out half way or you might ruin your friendship altogether.
After you have done that. Ask yourself one more question. If I keep going like I am going now will I ultimately get what I want, without having to put in the extra effort I'm about to?
If you think you canm then perhaps you should just continue being friends and stepping up a little every now and then. Because if thats going to work you can do that instead because your not likely to lose your friendship.
If you think you need to step it up then well keep reading.
The first way to someones heart is to make sure they know that you will be there for them. I'm not talking about in a comic book way, like you will ACTUALLY try your absolute best to be there for them if and when they need you. Not all the time but well I'm talking in the way that you will proberly never actually be called on but you must let her/him know that you'll always be there for them no matter what it is and that nothing could change your friendship.
The next thing you should proberly try just is blatant compliments. Like compliments that are very obvious. I don't mean like yelling it out and embarrassing her/him. But compliment something thats different about her/him today. Is he wearing something nice, has she changed her hairstyle. Whats different?
If you really just can't notice anything different -__- just try complimenting the fact that you think they are attractive. Start off with small things like "Wow you look great today" great is a far better word to use then good. Trust me. Move your way up to "Gorgeous" just saying single things like "Gorgeous" with even a small pause after them to show that your thinking about them. These are perfect. Anyone can do them and it can be all you need. If the compliments aren't working then you shouldn't worry about it much. Compliments are one of the lower things to just help you on your way.
If you are getting compliments back don't take them too far just hang back but don't make it look like you are out of compliments. You don't even have to compliment her/him anymore say "It's a nice day" or ask a caring question like "Are you warm enough" etc. Just small things to show them you care.
The next thing you should try are dates. Try and arrange a place that you can both hang out together. Now when I mean together I mean none of your friends showing up and none of their friends showing up. By friends I also mean siblings and by siblings I mean make sure NOBODY shows up. For your first date together pick a place that is NOT your house or their house. If thats impossible then well ok, but its not advised to take someone you like to your place the first time, frankly they proberly wont want to go either for the first time. So organize somewhere like shopping or the movies or just a really quiet place thats pretty and out of the way. Some people think movies don't work but they do if you don't just sit there and be quiet the whole way through. Talk a bit and keep it real, sometimes you'll have such a good time you wont even watch the movie.
First make sure they're comfortable, and that they're not going to suddenly need to do something and make themselves uncomfortable.
You can start by complimenting the location, show that your worldly and that you can see the beauty in many things. Perhaps even the beauty in her/him ^__^
Move to a compliment or two.. on them.
Then start talking about something you have done. Rather then asking them, that way take a turn on putting yourself on the spot first rather then putting them on the spot so soon. If you get talking they will as well.
Try and talk about things that involve just you and that person. Don't talk about your goofy mates/friends keep it between you and the other person. You need to make sure they know that you are thinking about them and that, that will proberly be the only thing you will be thinking while your on your little date (:
Actually asking someone out...
This is a hard and very last thing. No matter how many times you have done this before or not done this before it makes really no difference. It could still be a yes or a no and it's still going to be emotionally rattling on your head.
Try and plan it in a date rather then somewhere public and DO NOT I repeat DO NOT do it in any way that is not face to face. MSN, Txt Messages, Myspace Comments, Through another friend, etc these ways are SURE to FAIL and trust me, relationships that have started because someone has done one of those are sure to fail. You have to show that you are interested enough to embarrass yourself and take the chance of actually asking face to face. No one wants a scared immature boyfriend/girlfriend who can't even ask them out.
Also if you like this person enough your going to have to put yourself in some hard and embarrassing positions with them anyway if you go out so don't think your not, you might as well ask face to face and take the chance.
While your on your date don't ask straight away. Just try the compliments on them, the surroundings etc. Keep reassuring them but don't over do it.
Talk about things you have done together and then move on to things you want to do TOGETHER. Usually you can just take that persons hand and ask them then, if they have any idea on what the concept of the word "romantic" means then you've won them. Congratulations.
If they don't have a romantic bone in their body you might need to wait a little longer or try something slightly different.
Again make sure your alone and that they are comfortable. Being alone is important and saves you extra embarrassment if your rejected and just even by asking the question.
Sometimes you don't even have to ask "Will you go out with me" you can ask in a way thats "I really really like you and would you be with me" or "Could we do more things together as perhaps a bit more then friends" and lastly "We've been friends long enough and would you like to move up a step"? These all work well and you can take your pick. Not to mention you need need to rehearse them in front of the mirror. All of them are fool proof and you should only EVER have to say one. You could get away with two if they missed the point. If that fails then you will need to literally ask them out and show them that you want them and care about them.
If you really deeply care for this person suppress some of your emotions you don't want to scream out "I wanna have your baby!" but you want to get the point across that sleeping together could be an option. If the term "sleeping together" doesn't appeal to you then your proberly not mature enough for a boyfriend/girlfriend and you should just quit right now and go do something else.
Remember to never sell yourself. You're not a slut and neither is your friend. You need to always remember what you want and if that changes over time you will need to change with it.
One of the hardest things is making sure they know exactly what you want them to know. So make sure they know but don't push the point.
I hope this helps everyone.
Later I will do a tutorial on how to get close to someone you've never had the pleasure of knowing.
So basically how to bond with someone you've either just met or your planning to meet.
I'll quickly tell you what you should expect.
This is mainly a tut for getting closer to someone you have already befriended. It wont be in steps and all of these should be options you are able to use. I've made it pretty versatile.
First things first. You have to know what you want from this person.
Ask yourself things like am I happy where I am now with him/her or do I want more, like to kiss or touch this person?
You have to know what you want from them before you even start to try and get what you want. Many people forget what they originally wanted on the way to actually getting it. So always remember what you desire from her/him.
The next step is having enough courage to actually try your best for what you want and not chicken out half way or you might ruin your friendship altogether.
After you have done that. Ask yourself one more question. If I keep going like I am going now will I ultimately get what I want, without having to put in the extra effort I'm about to?
If you think you canm then perhaps you should just continue being friends and stepping up a little every now and then. Because if thats going to work you can do that instead because your not likely to lose your friendship.
If you think you need to step it up then well keep reading.
The first way to someones heart is to make sure they know that you will be there for them. I'm not talking about in a comic book way, like you will ACTUALLY try your absolute best to be there for them if and when they need you. Not all the time but well I'm talking in the way that you will proberly never actually be called on but you must let her/him know that you'll always be there for them no matter what it is and that nothing could change your friendship.
The next thing you should proberly try just is blatant compliments. Like compliments that are very obvious. I don't mean like yelling it out and embarrassing her/him. But compliment something thats different about her/him today. Is he wearing something nice, has she changed her hairstyle. Whats different?
If you really just can't notice anything different -__- just try complimenting the fact that you think they are attractive. Start off with small things like "Wow you look great today" great is a far better word to use then good. Trust me. Move your way up to "Gorgeous" just saying single things like "Gorgeous" with even a small pause after them to show that your thinking about them. These are perfect. Anyone can do them and it can be all you need. If the compliments aren't working then you shouldn't worry about it much. Compliments are one of the lower things to just help you on your way.
If you are getting compliments back don't take them too far just hang back but don't make it look like you are out of compliments. You don't even have to compliment her/him anymore say "It's a nice day" or ask a caring question like "Are you warm enough" etc. Just small things to show them you care.
The next thing you should try are dates. Try and arrange a place that you can both hang out together. Now when I mean together I mean none of your friends showing up and none of their friends showing up. By friends I also mean siblings and by siblings I mean make sure NOBODY shows up. For your first date together pick a place that is NOT your house or their house. If thats impossible then well ok, but its not advised to take someone you like to your place the first time, frankly they proberly wont want to go either for the first time. So organize somewhere like shopping or the movies or just a really quiet place thats pretty and out of the way. Some people think movies don't work but they do if you don't just sit there and be quiet the whole way through. Talk a bit and keep it real, sometimes you'll have such a good time you wont even watch the movie.
First make sure they're comfortable, and that they're not going to suddenly need to do something and make themselves uncomfortable.
You can start by complimenting the location, show that your worldly and that you can see the beauty in many things. Perhaps even the beauty in her/him ^__^
Move to a compliment or two.. on them.
Then start talking about something you have done. Rather then asking them, that way take a turn on putting yourself on the spot first rather then putting them on the spot so soon. If you get talking they will as well.
Try and talk about things that involve just you and that person. Don't talk about your goofy mates/friends keep it between you and the other person. You need to make sure they know that you are thinking about them and that, that will proberly be the only thing you will be thinking while your on your little date (:
Actually asking someone out...
This is a hard and very last thing. No matter how many times you have done this before or not done this before it makes really no difference. It could still be a yes or a no and it's still going to be emotionally rattling on your head.
Try and plan it in a date rather then somewhere public and DO NOT I repeat DO NOT do it in any way that is not face to face. MSN, Txt Messages, Myspace Comments, Through another friend, etc these ways are SURE to FAIL and trust me, relationships that have started because someone has done one of those are sure to fail. You have to show that you are interested enough to embarrass yourself and take the chance of actually asking face to face. No one wants a scared immature boyfriend/girlfriend who can't even ask them out.
Also if you like this person enough your going to have to put yourself in some hard and embarrassing positions with them anyway if you go out so don't think your not, you might as well ask face to face and take the chance.
While your on your date don't ask straight away. Just try the compliments on them, the surroundings etc. Keep reassuring them but don't over do it.
Talk about things you have done together and then move on to things you want to do TOGETHER. Usually you can just take that persons hand and ask them then, if they have any idea on what the concept of the word "romantic" means then you've won them. Congratulations.
If they don't have a romantic bone in their body you might need to wait a little longer or try something slightly different.
Again make sure your alone and that they are comfortable. Being alone is important and saves you extra embarrassment if your rejected and just even by asking the question.
Sometimes you don't even have to ask "Will you go out with me" you can ask in a way thats "I really really like you and would you be with me" or "Could we do more things together as perhaps a bit more then friends" and lastly "We've been friends long enough and would you like to move up a step"? These all work well and you can take your pick. Not to mention you need need to rehearse them in front of the mirror. All of them are fool proof and you should only EVER have to say one. You could get away with two if they missed the point. If that fails then you will need to literally ask them out and show them that you want them and care about them.
If you really deeply care for this person suppress some of your emotions you don't want to scream out "I wanna have your baby!" but you want to get the point across that sleeping together could be an option. If the term "sleeping together" doesn't appeal to you then your proberly not mature enough for a boyfriend/girlfriend and you should just quit right now and go do something else.
Remember to never sell yourself. You're not a slut and neither is your friend. You need to always remember what you want and if that changes over time you will need to change with it.
One of the hardest things is making sure they know exactly what you want them to know. So make sure they know but don't push the point.
I hope this helps everyone.
Later I will do a tutorial on how to get close to someone you've never had the pleasure of knowing.
So basically how to bond with someone you've either just met or your planning to meet.