Female Psychology 101

[maiwaifu]

I'm working on a story right now, just to work out my brain cells from college. I was planning a harem-type story like the one you'd find in H-games (only without H scenes, sorry peeps :P), but now I find myself with a very troubling dilemma.

How do women IRL choose what their "ideal" guy is?

To start with, two of the female characters are:

1. A girl who's into science, a real nerdy type (real hard since I personally no of NO women who are into it...)
2. A girl who draws manga, is already published in high school, and has dreams of being a popular mangaka (all the girls I know who are into manga enjoy READING it, not drawing it...)

Anime aside, I was hoping some of you could provide this humble basement dweller with clues and/or insight into how the IRL female mind works about desirable qualities in a man. I figured it's best to just ask those who are in the best position to know. :)

Thanks in advance for any help!

[MMao]

see hayate no gotoku 4 the girlz no 2 lolz

[Slayden]

The female mind is delightfully complicated yet simplistically elegant. Women tend to be more in touch with who they are inside than most guys. Neither sex is truly "better" or "smarter" than the other, but the means of expression is different between the two. Men and women also have their own strengths and weakness that compliment each other when conjoined.

Strangely, I think and express myself in ways typically associated with women, but I'm straight. [Only registered and activated users can see links]

I'm working on a story right now, just to work out my brain cells from college. I was planning a harem-type story like the one you'd find in H-games (only without H scenes, sorry peeps :P), but now I find myself with a very troubling dilemma.

The dilemma that few women in the whole world would willingly offer themselves into a harem? And even fewer into the type of harem you are referring to (where they actually love the guy)? Put yourself in their shoes. How would you like the woman you love most not only love you, but a number of other guys and you just happened to be one of them?

The only way you could realistically get around this is to have a maximum of two girls, both bisexual, and both love each other as much as they love the guy. As strange relationship indeed, but the most conceivable, at least, more conceivable than a standard H series harem story.

How do women IRL choose what their "ideal" guy is?

Oh man you are basically asking the "what is love" question. There is no pat answer for this as it drastically varies from girl to girl. The means of attraction, however, is roughly the same for almost all girls, and that's confidence, kindness, humor, etc.

Anime aside, I was hoping some of you could provide this humble basement dweller with clues and/or insight into how the IRL female mind works about desirable qualities in a man. I figured it's best to just ask those who are in the best position to know. :)

You are asking a very involved question for something so little as writing a story. Books upon books upon books have been written about psychology, the female mind, attraction/seduction techniques, communication, preferences, etc. etc. etc. How many plays, how many stories, how many poems, how many libraries of subject material has been written on this very topic?

My advice is to get out of the basement and watch. Observe the way girls interact with each other and with the opposite sex. Notice the differences. Talk to them. Read a book or two about them. Compare what you've read and observed to see what is true and false. Getting inside people's heads is an art to itself, with many branches, subcategories, and ways to do it.

To start with, two of the female characters are:

1. A girl who's into science, a real nerdy type (real hard since I personally no of NO women who are into it...)
2. A girl who draws manga, is already published in high school, and has dreams of being a popular mangaka (all the girls I know who are into manga enjoy READING it, not drawing it...)

Nerdy type? She likes logic, facts, and information. Sociable only on occasion, and often appears cold at times, regularly discounting emotion, though she may or may not have mood swings herself. Or she could also be the calm and collected type, sympathetic and caring yet still skeptical and favoring logic. They both have LONG memories. And in either case, they are curious about the way the world works, but only in their chosen field, usually neglecting social rituals, customs, or even having the desire to learn or participate in them.

A girl who draws her own manga, on the other hand, is the exact opposite of the science girl. She's artistic, sociable, possibly scatterbrained, and has a vivid imagination which may manifest itself as frequent daydreaming. The two main expressions on her face is either a smile or a blank look of thoughtfulness. She also tends to be more sexually active than the science girl because she likes the chase, social rituals, and customs.

Of course there are variations, exceptions, degrees, and far more detail than what I've written, all depending on each individual girl, but this should start you off with at least an archetype for the most likely personality that accompanies the preferences, hobbies, and occupations of the two girls you listed.

[maiwaifu]

The dilemma that few women in the whole world would willingly offer themselves into a harem? And even fewer into the type of harem you are referring to (where they actually love the guy)? Put yourself in their shoes. How would you like the woman you love most not only love you, but a number of other guys and you just happened to be one of them?


True, true. But hey, in anime anything's possible. :) lol. That's the good thing about stories, you can stretch reality a bit, right? Anyway, that's one plot challenge right there, I guess. I think I did mischaracterize the story a bit there anyway. What is the term for a story like Shuffle! where you got a bunch of bishoujo going after one lucky clueless btard who has to choose among them in the end? Harem was the only word that came to mind. :3


You are asking a very involved question for something so little as writing a story.


yeah, people have told me I get too caught up in details. lol. I could go to the library or a beauty parlor bookstand for this kind of thing, but...eheh...I've got an image to protect. I learned not too long ago that this world is a lot smaller than I'd want it to be. Viva anonymous internet!


My advice is to get out of the basement


e$#f AAAAHHHHH!!! NOOOOO!!! I'M GOING TO BE NORMAL!!!!! NOOOOOO!!!


Anyway, that's something to start off with, I guess. Unfortunately i don't find people as easy to reverse-engineer as Python code, hehe, my apologies if I disgust ppl out here by sounding like a total nerd, but that's what I am. lol.

[espectrodiurno]

the cunning atacks neither bodie nor mind
he attacks the heart

[Slayden]

the cunning atacks neither bodie nor mind
he attacks the heart

Very very true, but the wise consoles the mind and soothes the heart and soul, for he will gain a friend forever.

[senhormister]

Of course there are variations, exceptions, degrees, and far more detail than what I've written, all depending on each individual girl, but this should start you off with at least an archetype for the most likely personality that accompanies the preferences, hobbies, and occupations of the two girls you listed.

Indeed, that's what i'd suggest. You should try to create their personalities not by what they do, but rather as you see more fit. Just because one's a computer nerd doesn't necessarily means she'll have to be cold and anti-social and the manga artist cheerful and etc.

[LightElf]

When writing a story, there are basically 5 general steps to consider. Below is the first one.

1. Brainstorming --- You make up a story (under the assumption that you're writing a short story of course. I assume this is not a long-thread novel project?), think of the exposition, climax/es (or turning point or whatever), and conclusion. During the exposition steps, the main characters are usually introduced (you can bend this rule a bit, depending from story to story). But it is important for you to realize that a story, like the base of a tall tower or something, must have a clear cut good exposition to support it well. But not all stories are the same.

Different stories need different ways of approaching when using methods of characterization or other literary devices to develop character. In other words, whilst it may be possible to write a story based on the initial personality traits of the characters, it makes much more sense, and gives the story more originality when the characters accustom themselves onto the story, not the other way round (so the story should shape the characters, not vice versa).

So as someone posted earlier, yes, some nerdy girls may be cold and distant and likes facts, whilst the artistic one may be more open and socially outgoing. These are some typical, maybe even clichee to some extent characteristics of nerdy and artistic characters used in many mangas. You may well start there and further develop your characters if your story complements it well (like Motoko's development from a cold and distant kendo fighter to a more open and sociable character later in Love Hina). Or you may let them continue having the same characteristics, again, should your storyline complement it well.

But this should not always be the case. Again, depending on how you wish to unfold your story, you may even decide to give the artistic girl rather the cold and distant personality traits, perhaps because she grew up in a secluded environment and has therefore become a rather less sociable character who prefers to spend her time observing nature and other things to transfer them into art, through which she wants to fight back her loneliness, get recognized by others, and become the popular mangaka you mentioned. The nerdy girl on the other hand may be a super-smart girl who is not cold and distant, but rather very outgoing and altruistic, using her intelligence to support others, or maybe even be a rather supercilious girl who only hangs around with other people "on her league" and lectures "lower" ones with high vocabulary and mocking scientific language.

You could then further develop these characters personalities to weave into your harem storyline. Harem stories very often include girls of very different personalities and backgrounds, who then later gradually develop their love for the guy in question.

so you should not hold onto some Psychology "principles" to better get to know a typical female character, but rather let your storyline fluidly shape your characters to add depth and originality. hope this was useful