How Do I Fix This ?

[daniel2]

My girlfriend is 14 right. Her and I are both virgins (if you believed otherwise then you are mistaken). Last night she told me that she was ready for sex with me. But that she didn't think she was a respectable age.
She was however fine with the fact we would both be preforming oral multiple times for eachother and all that (which I am really happy for btw) but she just said even though we could use protection and all that, that she thinks her age is a problem.
Shes 15 in 4 months. So shes not just like 14.

This is exactly what she said:
"hey... i didn't want to tell you on MSN but i want to tell you now... im pretty much ready.. i really want to make love with you.. but i dont want to be 14 for my first time.. i dont wan to be that young and i never have... im really sorry.. but please.. if i say i want it, then im lost in the moment.. and please stop me.. i hope you understand....?"

(I told her I would and that understood).

So basically I'm screwed? I don't just want to make love with the girl, I love her to bits so I'm fine with just making her orgasm until she passes out.
But this is really a complicated fine line, I don't know what she wants from me, everytime she has come over before shes been on her period... so that was her I dunno... "excuse" for it, and she always screamed for sex after I was only even halfway through what I was doing... now we are going to do oral on eachother which is something new for us, in the shower, in the bed. (shes also not going to be on her period this time) So theres going to be lots going on, I know that I'm really fantastic at oral (I'm not boasting) and i know that shes going to scream for me to make love to her again, but now shes safeguarded herself by saying please stop me. I don't WANT to stop her, I'm going to the army in 2 months, I want to have sex before then, I'm a MAN for crying out loud, I'd never forgive myself if I let this pass me, I want to give my all to her and I think age is no excuse if your in love!!! I'm only 16, I'm not much older then her. If you think that I see her for just an object to have sex with, you couldn't be further from the truth, I really love this girl and I want to give my all to her, she says she wants to give it back but I don't want to leave and come back and have missed the chance to prove how much I love her, because thats what I see it as. (I don't think shes going to jump to another guy and even be able to talk dirty with him without being able to think about me, so I know I'm ok for the mean time). I want to do something that is the biggest object of love, dedication etc. and giving our virginity to each other would be that. Sure I'm nervous about it, from the whole conversation before that she didn't seem nervous really. I know the internet can be deceitful and I know it was only MSN that she said it on, but shes coming over this Saturday (It's Sunday now, so 6 days away)... I have 6 days to try and change her mind, if you look at it properly I only have 1 day (The day she comes over)... but I don't want her to scream at me to make love to her and then I say "but you said..." and her go "ooh... thats right... I'm sorry" I don't know if I could continue with whatever it was that I was doing to her, my heart would break and I.... I really don't know.

All I can say is I'm a man, at my age we go through a 400% boost in hormones compared to a female.. I WANT to have sex. Thats just the long and the short of it. I love this girl and I want it to mean something and I think it would. If I miss this then the 2 other times shes begged me for it I'll never get out of my head, what if, even though she was on her period we had, have had sex... I could have proved myself to her then.

So I need anyone and everyone to help me. Is there anything I can say or do to change her mind without giving her a guilt trip or making her feel bad about it, because its her body and her choice and I don't want to lay a guilt trip and I don't ever lie about anything in my life.

If your going to post like "You should be lucky my girlfriend doesn't even give me Oral" blah blah blah, then please don't post. I need help her, this is my turn for help please. I don't want boasters I don't want people saying I'm lucky about some of the things, I need any real and/or hypothetical help about things I could say, do, whatever that could help change her mind so she knows she has made the right decision. Theres no deception here or anything.

Thankyou so much everyone for anything thats ontopic to what I want in this thread. I will ask Dark_Clown nicely to remove anything thats offtopic. Also I don't expect this to have any less answers then anyother thread in here, just more ontopic answers.

~ImI

[Slayden]

There is a saying, "Making it to third base doesn't raise the score any higher than striking out." In other words, there really is no more meaning to oral sex than not having any sexual expression the relationship at all. Ask her why she thinks 14 is too young. Will her mind change so very much in the 24 hour difference between being 14 years 363 days old and 15 years even? What is the true root cause of her apprehension toward sex? After all, you are putting other parts of your body within her (your fingers, your tongue), why not your penis? Besides, she sucks your penis right? You've already put it inside of her body. Tell her you want to look into her eyes as you do it next time.

Specifically ask her these exact questions and make these exact statements. She already wants you and she has already unconsciously made her decision. Trust me when I say that she is disappointed when you remind her of the thing she told you to say. She's flimsily trying to leave the responsibility of both of your actions entirely on you. By asking her these questions, you'll be clearing the smoke screen she has set up before her eyes and removing the safety net she's set up in case she wants to pull a blame game in the future. She just needs her conscious views changed a little to see things for what they are. She's deceiving herself into thinking that there is a big difference between oral sex and intercourse.

I can understand what you are going through though, this being your first time and all. Even though it seems quite daunting to convince your girlfriend to go ahead with it, this problem actually isn't a massive one. Ever notice how the shadow of something is much bigger than the object itself? What you are feeling is the shadow, but your issue is actually the little mouse in the corner.

Oh yeah, and her always saying that she is on her period is a blatant, transparent lie. Menstruation only lasts 3-5 days, so you could always track her times. :JFBQ00213070516A: In fact, I tracked my girlfriend's period when we were still together so that I knew what her "danger days" were (the days she could get pregnant) so that I knew when it was okay to have unprotected sex and when it was best to wear a rubber or not have sex at all. So you might want to look into that if you're interested, or I could post another tut on the subject if you want.

That's pretty much it for the advice I can give. Ask her those questions I gave in the first paragraph, tell her those statements, open her eyes on the subject, and maybe track what she tells you with regard to her period, but I'm really emphasizing my first paragraph to help you.

[daniel2]

Thankyou so much man, honestly... You have no idea how much this means to me, everyone needs atleast someone to help open their eyes, to see what they wouldn't or couldn't themselves.

With her period thing, she gets it the same time as my mother.. <_< as disturbing as it is, its true. Yes I DO document her period so I know when shes lying I have a calendar and I mark it out for the days she gets it, she says she has bad genes like her mother and that sometimes she menstruates for 6 days, never for only 3.

So basically I'll mark it out and if I think I screwed up I can ask my mum, as annoying as it seems. It sorta is. I know shes not lying because we don't lie to eachother and because of the orgasms I've given her in the past shes bled and its been quite messy.. I also know quite a bit on the subject so I know shes not fibbing. The period excuse only comes up because she says she doesn't want to lose her virginity while shes on her period but after we do give our virginity to each other that she's up for trying it. I told her its basically exactly the same and it doesn't hurt, just that its messy.

I'm glad you told me what you told me, honestly I thought it was time to give up on the whole thing. 10 views and no responses.. I know I only really needed one good one, I don't mind what people have to say on the subject, negative or positive as long as they keep to the topic and don't wander like in the other threads.

Could you please outline the specific questions I need to ask her, and the things I need to tell her so I can memorize them, the first paragraph is slightly messy. No offense.

Thanks again slayden..

[Slayden]

LOL Okay. I'm not really a fan of lines, but I'll give you some examples of what I would say if I were in your position.

You need to stay flexible, however, instead of rigidly sticking to memorized lines, because in all likelihood, she's going to fight you on it. I'll give you a start, but you'll need to work them into the conversation. From what you have written about her in other posts, it seems that she's pretty open-minded anyway, which will make this much easier than otherwise. Also wait for her to be in a slightly horny mood when you are having this discussion, but not in full swing. You want her to be even more open than normal, but you don't want her using the excuse "But I was really horny at the time."

Tip: One of the things you'll want to keep in mind is to address issues and answer questions before she even asks them. It's extremely disarming and she'll be less inclined to fight because of it.

Tip: Ask questions even though you already know what her answer is going to be, just so that you can address her answer. This serves two purposes: 1) to get it out into the open so you can alleviate her concerns, and/or 2) so that she doesn't catch you off-guard with a similar statement later.

Let's begin.

Question: "Why are you hesitant to have sex while you are still 14? I mean, why exactly?"

It doesn't really matter what she says, if she can even pinpoint a specific reason in the first place. Even if she does, she'll be coming from a standpoint of "feeling uncomfortable" about it. The root cause is most likely that she thinks that she isn't old enough to make a proper decision regarding sex. It's a spinoff of the "age of consent" laws in most countries. To address this concern, you ask her this:

Question: "Let's say tomorrow is your birthday. Will your mind change so very much in 24 hours? Is there so much of a difference between you being 14 years 363 days old and you being 15 years old?"

This will get her thinking about her maturity level, and the question will make her internalize it, causing doubt to form around what she has convinced herself to follow. Actually, the doubt is already there because of what she feels. What you are doing here is exposing just how much her current belief doesn't make sense as well as compounding her doubts.

Question: "Is it really because you are 14?" (show her a doubtful look) "What's the real reason?"

Asking her the "real" reason why she doesn't want to have sex will imply a disbelief toward something that doesn't make sense, even though it is her reason. This will just continue to feed her doubt.

You see, what you are doing is undermining her beliefs and replacing them with yours. What makes this case particularly easy is you have logic on your side AND she already enjoys sexual pleasure with you. The next thing you do is subtly switch up your tactics and begin to address the fact that you are already enjoying each other sexually.

She'll likely say something along the lines of "But that is the reason" but she'll say it halfheartedly. Continue to engage her in conversation, eventually working this in:

Statement: "Well, I am already putting parts of my body within yours." Hold up and wiggle your fingers, then stick out your tongue a little and immediately follow up with this:

Question: "So why can't I put my penis in you? Well, you suck on my penis, so actually you've already put it inside of yourself."

You've asked a question, then replied to her answer even before she got to say anything. She'll just give you a dumbfounded look and probably say something like "But it's different..." or "That's not fair" or some other stammering remark. At this point, don't let her gather her thoughts. Next a little humor to lighten the conversation. Give a mock pouting or a somewhat exaggerated sad look and ask:

Question: "Do you dislike my penis that much? Is there something wrong with it or is it ugly or..."

She'll undoubtedly cut you off at this point, but not really know what to say, saying "No, no it's not that." You don't want her constantly be put on the spot or think that you are picking on her. You want to make sure that it is obvious that you aren't serious because it's a bad idea to put on a guilt trip. At the same time, you are again making her question why she is truly holding back regarding sex. Soon, she should realize that she doesn't really know why she is holding back, that is, if she's not the stubborn type. Let her respond with something, anything, but it likely won't make sense. If silence fall between you, just pause a moment. Then while she is thinking about the lack of a reason not to have sex, smile, become very serious, and say this:

Statement: "I want to look into your eyes as I put a part of me inside you next time, in here." (gently grab her crotch while looking in her eyes)

Her heart should melt at this point, and given her lack of a reason not to have sex, she should be fine with it. But before she has a chance to answer, close her lips with yours and give her a passionate kiss, still fondling her groin. After a few moments, keep your lips locked to hers and slowly lean toward her using your other hand to lay her down. There is a small chance that she'll resist and start to push you away. In this case, don't jerk back, rather maintain the kiss and slowly pull away. She's still confused and may need a little time to process everything you've told her, so give her the time. Trust me she'll be brainstorming over it. If she doesn't push you away, you're home free and proceed to actual sex. Keep in mind, however, that she will be very scared, even though she is accepting you, so take it slow and maybe give her an orgasm or two with oral to release some of her tensions.

When embarking on this, make sure to keep the conversation flowing. One of the problems with memorizing lines is it's rigid. Go ahead and memorize them, but you may need to reword it a little or add some stuff so that it seamlessly fits within your current context.

One more thing, if at all during the conversation she mentions feeling pain the first time having sex, just reply with:

Statement: "That has nothing to do with age, but I know a way that you won't feel much pain at all."

There are a multitude of signals to keep in mind. Is she getting angry? What's her body language? Is she shifting in one spot? Is she uncomfortable? You'll need to steer the conversation in different directions depending on how she reacts. Remember, stay flexible.

[Queenie]

Slayden ish pro xD!

[DDv]

What Slayden told You is all very good.
But.
I think You shouldn't only focus on convincing her. As Slayden has told You she has already made her decision, subconsciously. You should instead find out what this decision is. If it's the exact opposite of that You expect You could ruin Your relationship with her.

Just be careful (and patient if You have to). Don't rush things.

[daniel2]

Thanks again Slayden, it sounds as if you had known my Girlfriend before I even knew her :P you got pretty much exactly what I think will happen as well.

Anyway what I WAS going to do was this:

Nothing.

If she asked for sex, I was going to give it to her, without alarming her I was more or less going to slip the condom on, (this is after alot of foreplay) and take it nice and slow, all the while trying to keep her in the mood. I was also thinking about removing the whole conversation from her brain by filling it with other thoughts and emotions, like orgasms and anything and everything else delightful in the hopes that when she "was in the moment" that she wouldn't remember what she told me.

If she played the blame game again I was going to simply say look, you told me you were ready.. then she would have said "No I didn't say that! I said I thought I was ready but I'm too young!" Then I was going to go into a discussion about the fact that shes more mature then she thinks, and open up a few doors that have stayed closed in her for awhile.

After she got over that then I'd pretty much sweeten it by saying I love you and that I wanted to give my all to you... etc. Even though it sounds fake it would have all been true.

[Slayden]

As Slayden has told You she has already made her decision, subconsciously. You should instead find out what this decision is.

I don't think you're very observant. She was begging him to have sex with her, but she told him earlier not to do it. As I already said, she's shifting responsibility to him. She can't completely come to terms with her own desires, which is why she's trying to shift responsibility to him. Underneath it all, she really does want to have sex with him.

If it's the exact opposite of that You expect You could ruin Your relationship with her.

No. At worst it would be an awkward moment if he follows the kiss/slow-pull-away, but I wouldn't even expect this much to happen.

Just be careful (and patient if You have to). Don't rush things.

I think I'll quote myself this time.

There is a small chance that she'll resist and start to push you away. In this case, don't jerk back, rather maintain the kiss and slowly pull away. She's still confused and may need a little time to process everything you've told her, so give her the time. Trust me she'll be brainstorming over it.

[Slayden]

Thanks again Slayden, it sounds as if you had known my Girlfriend before I even knew her :P you got pretty much exactly what I think will happen as well.

I help when I can. ;)

If she asked for sex, I was going to give it to her, without alarming her I was more or less going to slip the condom on her, (this is after alot of foreplay) and take it nice and slow, all the while trying to keep her in the mood. I was also thinking about removing the whole conversation from her brain by filling it with other thoughts and emotions, like orgasms and anything and everything else delightful in the hopes that when she "was in the moment" that she wouldn't remember what she told me.

You could do this, and she may realize after the fact that she was ready all along and missing out on so much, but it's something of a risk. I would do this myself as well, but only if I knew for a fact that this is how she would react. I can't make that deep of a judgment call for you because I don't know her. If I were to speak to her for a few minutes (over any topic really) I could tell you how she would react, but not on what little info I have right now.

If she played the blame game again I was going to simply say look, you told me you were ready.. then she would have said "No I didn't say that! I said I thought I was ready but I'm too young!" Then I was going to go into a discussion about the fact that shes more mature then she thinks, and open up a few doors that have stayed closed in her for awhile.

After she got over that then I'd pretty much sweeten it by saying I love you and that I wanted to give my all to you... etc. Even though it sounds fake it would have all been true.

Bad bad bad. This is exactly the kind of reaction you don't want from her. You don't want her blaming you at all. That would open a host of problems in your relationship in the future, which is why you need to know what her reaction would be before you do anything. The advice I've given is the safe route to get what you both want. Again, if you know for a fact that she will react positively, go ahead and slip her the dick when she starts asking for it in the moment, otherwise, play it safe and don't toy the foundation of your relationship, which is trust.

[maiwaifu]

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14?

[daniel2]

Ok I just spoke to her then for about 3 hours... (I was talking to her as I posted here just before). I got her in a mood about talking about maturity.. basically jokingly saying your not maturer then me blah blah, prove it.. etc.. While staying in a happy mood and maintaining my smile... It eventually turned to sex and I started it off with "but you think age is a virtue and your using that as an "excuse to not make love to me... even though I'll be doing all the hard work :(.... which I then stuck my tounge out at her and licked her cheek" and she said, atleast I have the maturity to be able to say no, and I said but not the maturity to look behind a sheet of glass and understand that age isn't a virtue therefore making your "excuse" is utter bullshit... besides.. thats not the reason is it... whats the real reason sweety? and she was about to say "it is!" when I said.. is my Penis too ugly.. :( your mouth likes it but... why cant I make love to you with it... you know it misses you..
Which made he laugh and say my body misses you too... and then she said look I just don't feel like I want to have sex at the moment, and before she could say "I mean at this age" I grabbed her breast and said then lets get you in the mood :D and she laughed and said but I told you, if I'm in the mood you have to stop me, which is when I said rubbish, I ain't going to stop you if you want me, and believe me sweety your going to want me so fucking badly. *I grinned so widely :D* and she giggled and said but you promised and I don't think I can do anything if you don't keep your promise.. so I pulled the conversation up on my computer and said "where did you say do you promise... i don't even see the word promise" and she said aaww thats not fair.. so I grabbed her and I pushed her onto the bed and I said look... I really love you... I always have babe, age isnt a fucking virtue and I wont listen to that bullshit, you love me don't you... and she said.. yes.. and I said look would it make a difference if you were 15 tomorrow? does age really fucking matter??? that much?? and she said... I don't want to do it when Im 15 even.. maybe even after I'm 16 and I said you'll do it way before then, trust me, and she said no I wont,.. and I said I'll make you take that back and I kissed her again and I said babes.. I love you more... and she said we've been through this... we love eachother the same.. and I said.. aah but... your not listening to me, a little trust in the matter of love making would go along way and she giggled and said how far :D and I said... to the moon and back... which is when I said.. look I promise it wont hurt.. and I have lube.. and she giggled and said haha dan's got lube which she then shouted again.. and I said well... remember the last time back when I was massaging your breasts... with *cough* (I actually coughed) "oil" and she said yeah... and then 3 seconds later as I began to talk she looked horrified and she blushed so much.. and I said you know how it was dark and the lights were off and I gave you such a nice nipple massage, that was the lube not oil and she battered me softly and said you asshole! that shit has been on your dick.. and I said no... I bought it especially for us to use... I haven't even used it since.. same with the body chocolate... which you say your going to suck off my cock.. soo.... and she blushed again/// so I finished it off and said... do you see how silly your being... and she said.. but sucking it is different and I said rubbish girls at your age would rather have sex then suck a guy to orgasm. She smiled and said not me... and I said well then... and she said (because she was running out with excuses) what if my parents find out! and you know they will! and I said look we'll be doing it at my place... what is there to worry about... and she said but you know them they'll find out somehow! and I said what are you going to let your mum stick her fingers in you????? and she said "eeww fuck no" and I said then how the fuck are they going to find out unless you tell them! which made her blush again and say.. look... ok Dan... I get it... and I said look I'm not hounding you, I just want to give everything to you, I love you babe (etc...) and she said I love you too. I said look it might seem like a big deal before we do it but I promise it wont hurt we'll use lube and a lubricated condom, you cant go wrong, plus I've got a whole hour of going down on you before hand, you know thats going to be hard to handle.. I might need a break.. believe me Ella.. your not in the mood now because your on your period... which is when I stroked her crotch and she sorta jumped... because I made sure it was direct and hard right on her spot... and I said but when I've been sucking on that yummy thing down there your going to scream for it... and I'm not going to remind you what you said.. I'm not going to stop you, its not my responsibility I want to give me all too you, I know its the right decision.. I hoped you felt the same way, I know you cant see it now because your not as horny as hell... and I stroked her in the same place again which made her gasp and say if you keep doing that I will be and I don't want to bleed all over your lovely bed... {So I said try and see it when you are has horny as hell... think about 5 times no 10 times better then playing with yourself... and she said Dan I don't do that, and I said ooh you'll open up to me sometime... that might take longer and I'll work on that later.. and she blushed so much and turned away and said ok... I'm out of reasons, you've done it again... with your fucking wisdom and all that haha god dammit.. and I said believe me, its going to be one hell of a time together and your going to scream from pleasure all the way..

After that we did a bit of foreplay because she had earned it and she said I got my point across and that there wasn't going to be any turning back...

I'd like to thank Slayden again for the fucking millionth time for being such a fucking helpful buddy :D and for providing me with basically everything I needed to win my girl over and convince her she would be missing out and making a mistake if she didn't.

Thanks again man, and to everyone else that answered here.. believe me you helped...

P.S I went into high detail for anyone else that has the same problem, good luck to you all. But like Slayden said its not as bad as it sounds.

EDIT: Shit 3 replies in the time it took to post all that haha.

[Slayden]

Ha ha! Cool! Go for it. Glad I could help. ;)

And you stayed flexible. Good man.

[DDv]

Well, I'm glad for You. It turned out good. ;)




Slayden: I am observant. :P But it doesn't matter now, let's leave this alone.

[daniel2]

Believe me I'm glad too.. It's not over however until it really is over. We still have to have sex for it to be over, and theres 5 full days including tomorrow (not 6, just 5) until she comes over.
She was over today, (when we talked) but she went home to get ready for school, and we don't do much when shes on her period anyway.

I hope she just doesn't change her mind. However I don't think she will and I have a multitude of things to unleash (or not unleash really) if she remotely takes back what she said.
I shouldn't have to prove myself further.

[DDv]

What should I say? We're waiting for the results? xD
Anyway, I wish You luck with her not just this time, but in the future too. ^^

[Slayden]

Believe me I'm glad too.. It's not over however until it really is over. We still have to have sex for it to be over,

So true.

I should have my other tutorial up before then too. It'll be something that the great "magic fingers" can learn too. :em096:

What should I say? We're waiting for the results? xD

Yes. I can't wait to hear how it goes. I'm certain she's anticipating it too, maybe even more than you. Fear mixed with anticipation and excitement. It's an exhilarating feeling unmatched by any other. It's like the moments just before stepping into a roller coaster for the first time, but once you get going, your mind almost goes blank and you get lost in the fun. Afterward, you realize how much you've been missing and just want to go again soon. :em038:

Good luck.

[daniel2]

Thats exactly how I'm feeling now, once apon a time I really didn't give a shit if I didn't have sex until I was 18 or 19 and that people doing it around me were stupid and couldn't understand the concept of love even for a second.
Now I'm curious about it, I think about it alot more then usual which is normal for my age band and I want to find out what it feels like, not only that I want to give something to her because I feel deeply about her and I would like something equal in return. Not only that it will make our relationship stronger and we both have something very special together.
I've never asked for anything back in my life really, now is the time to start.

I'll never give up on trying to erase her doubt. The only excuse I can't combat is the "Look I just don't Want to Ok?" excuse. <_< But then I'm going to hammer the shit out of her for a reason why and throw on loads of sweet talking.
I'll never "pressure" her for sex, but I'm going to make sure she knows she did the right thing, and then after she realizes how good it feels, we can do it more often.

Besides I'm a male :P

[daniel2]

At the moment I'm worried about her. I spoke to her on the phone today for 2 hours. (We usually talk for 9). Yes. Thats on the phone, I know most conversations limit 1 hour, we limit 10, until the sun rises etc.
I know we're crazy and different but thats what we can do, we can talk for 9 hours and never repeat a subject or be silent for more then a minute.

Anyway, like I said I'm worried about her, she told me after I did loads of dirty talking and basically inventing ways to get her wet over the phone and get her blood pumping, she told me that even though we spoke face-to-face the other night and that she didn't have any doubts. That they had come back and that she still didn't think her age was the right age. Which then I just told her, its a number ffs. (For fucks sake) It means how long you have been "alive" not how smart you are, not how mature you are, not weather you should be having sex about this time or not, not weather your allowed to make your own decisions. I said the definition of age is "The measurement of time a person has been living after they were born" so I said this whole age phobia is getting stupider by the minute. I said look I saw you face-to-face yesterday and you told me everything was fine, that I'd removed all doubt from your mind. I said look you need to see me face-to-face again and I said your proberly going to have those doubts always if you don't see me. I need to be there rubbing your breasts together or something to get you in the mood. I said the reason why your doubting it is that your not turned on enough physically from my hands and my body and me and that your just turned on from what I was saying. Basically she said that she couldn't keep it a secret and that she would have to tell a friend about it and that her friends would judge her for it and think she was slutty. Which I then said your making more excuses by the hour and I'm sick of it. Your friends aren't your friends then, all your telling me is that they would be jealous and that they are not mature enough to know whats involved in the whole thing. I said is it because of me? (because my reputation sorta sucks thanks to being bullied in school) and she said fuck no! and She said my parents find out and you know they would and I said you said this last night and you told me they aren't going to be sticking their fingers inside you so how would they know??!? you cant just walk down the street and know that, that person there has had sex, even if they are naked. They'd have to be covered in cum or something, which isn't going to happen on our case.
I also told her I've always treated her like an equal and that if I treated her like a 14 year old (in regards to the number of years shes been alive) that I wouldn't be talking dirty to her, that I wouldn't be seeing her this weekend and that I wouldn't be interested in her. I said I'm not interested in "regular" 14 year olds, your almost 15 anyway. Age is just a number your more special then any other person. Do you realise that? I always treat you like my equal because you deserve it and because your smart! and your not a 14 year old. Stop talking about your age like its a drop-all-of-my-responsibility's-card. I'm talking about your maturity here, your the most mature person I know! You already subconsciously want to have sex, your subconsciously ready for it, you tell me you want to... why cant you just come over, let me give you a load of orgasms and then when you are in the mood, because I'll be there, you'll be here and we'll be doing things (not because your just sitting there now by yourself) why cant we see what happens and leave it as that? When you do say you want it, because I'm going to make you scream for it :p I'm not going to hold back like I said I'm not going to remind you about what you said, and I'm not going to stop you. I don't want to stop you, its not my responsibility and I want the opposite. I want you to be happy and believe me it'll make you happy, happier then just oral.

In the end she basically said that it was sorted once again and that I had worked my magic..

She had to go because her mum was yelling at her...

She hasn't been on the internet since the phone call and she said she would after she showered, ate and did her homework. I knew she would watch her show so I thought give her an extra 30mins or so but now its 11:04pm and shes still not here.. shes proberly in bed... and shes got school tomorrow and I'm anxious about school because there are other guys there and I'm paranoid that she looks at them and everything... but she basically tells me that shes always telling all the guys to go fuck her a tree... because she doesn't even want to talk to them..

I guess I'm a paranoid guy but I just think that I blew everything on the phone. Even though it went really well. I don't want her to say look maybe we should drop EVERYTHING like the whole "me comming over thing" I kinda know she wont, she gets too much out of just thinking about it I don't think she wants to put it off. I'm also sure theres an explanation for her not being online tonight but well dad said to me earlier when I explained the situation that shes a "prick tease" and that shes leading me on because shes getting something out of it and that I'll be lucky if I ever see her again, and that I'll not see her again at my house for sure..
Which I think is bullshit, and he hopes for my sake that I'm right and she does come back, heaps!

I don't know what else to say, its all thats on my mind at the moment... god I want it to be over. I guess we're just going to have to be face-to-face for any chance of me to TOTALLY remove all pigment of doubt..

~ImI

[Slayden]

Your dad doesn't know jackshit about women even though he's married. She's not a "pricktease." Her fears and expectation probably exceed yours and it's clouding her thinking. Don't worry. Be cool. Especially around her. Stay in control, stay calm, and above all else... be cool. She's thinking about it nonstop and with all the butterflies in her stomach I'm not surprised she's talking to you about it again. As the days grow shorter her anticipation will grow. Expect this conversation to happen once or twice more, but stay cool. She wants your stability and for you to convince her, otherwise she just wants to ditch these feelings because they're quite uncomfortable. Give her the roller coaster example I gave you. But above all else remember two words: be cool.

[emersedsin]

lol slayden...i can see you quickly becoming an authority on this kind of stuff... <respect>

[daniel2]

Yeah I'll take it how it goes tomorrow, like I said earlier to you Slayden I don't think she'll ditch the whole idea (which is everything thats going to happen this weekend) on a dime especially when she literally gets off on what I say to her & do to her.
She'd be crazy too.

I don't know what more else to say, shes said to me many-a-time her and I have the power to get through anything, no matter how crazy it is and no matter what it is.
I don't think this is going to be very stormy.

As for what you said about me mentioning this too early I had to get it off my chest, like she had to get her stuff off her chest the day before which is what made me post this thread and feel like this.

I think the longer its out in the air the more I'll be able to think of things that will help remove her doubt. Besides the girl needs time to make her decisions. All I can say really is that everything will be different when shes physically in my presence.

This isn't over but I'm not going to give in.
We'll see what tomorrow brings, I'm guessing a boring day at school to complain about and nothing more and that what I have now is just harmless paranoia.

~ImI

Also....

She wants your stability and for you to convince her, otherwise she just wants to ditch these feelings because they're quite uncomfortable. Give her the roller coaster example I gave you. But above all else remember two words: be cool.

Shit what does that mean then... (the stuff in yellow).

[Slayden]

lol slayden...i can see you quickly becoming an authority on this kind of stuff... <respect>

LOL Think I should become a sex therapist?

Shit what does that mean then... (the stuff in yellow).

She wants you to convince her to go through with the sex. She wants your stability and confidence so that she is assured that she is making the right choice. If you don't fulfill that role, she is more likely to call it off because she doesn't want to bear it alone.

Don't let it worry you though, because you are fulfilling that role. If you stay calm and collected, she will feel that stability and confidence coming from you, which will in turn calm her down.

[daniel2]

Well her mother got in the way of our plans. Basically she said that her dad saw the mark on her neck (It was a love bite) and that, that was the reason her dad wouldn't talk to her for a week. Also that its best if we never see eachother ever again.

Basically shes totally fed up with everything and she wants to move out, but shes only 14. I said she should come and live with me.. (Before you object my parents are totally cool with having her here and our family is filthy rich, so being allowed and having the money to support her is totally not a problem).
At the moment her family is going through shitloads of Financial trouble and her dad stood on a huge nail and now his foot is badly infected so he cannot work for 2 months and they are living off savings. Her mother retired and the only money they have is what her dad saved up last November and what they are getting from the Government as well as her mums Pension.

Shes honestly thinking about comming over here atleast until I leave for the army. Which is in 2 months and 2 days. Everything would be taken care of but I cannot see her doing that.

School is on and the closest holidays are about 2 weeks before I leave. Which frankly is total bullshit, I really don't want to wait that long before I sleep with her again.

No matter how I see things I'm doomed to never see her again, but I'll try to fight every obstacle we both encounter. At the moment we are seeing if she can atleast stay Sunday over but not for the night, so we still get to do everything we just only get 1 day instead of 2 days and 1 night. Her mum did say "I don't think you should actually stay the "night" again, maybe just the day" but she said that pretty much to de-ter her to ever wanting to come back because it would seem to be too much trouble.

My parents honestly think she should stay here until her parents can learn to trust her more and perhaps listen to her once in awhile. She still has Grade 9 and 10 to Finish before she moves out, by then I'll almost be 19 and she'll almost be 17 so that is along way away, at the moment I'm trying to work out what I can NOW. Because I wont be here much longer.

I'm really fucked off at her mother for saying everything is fine your allowed on Thursday and just before she rings on Friday to make plans her mum crushes her dreams.

I don't know what else to say. I don't think Sunday will happen, this has been the worst week outcome that I couldn't have planned for. I'm really fucked off at her parents, they emotionally abuse her, scare her and it seems that they just lost all love for her. On top of this, I'm having serious thoughts that she is either adopted or the result of her mum being unfaithful, which is why her father cannot look her in the eye. Which makes me want to kill him.

Does anyone know of anything that I could do? ): She doesn't want me to talk to her mum, and I have infinitely stressed she needs to move here for her benefit more then mine and that she needs to talk to her mum about everything, in a civil tone without yelling. etc.
(Your all smart enough to get the rest of that).

I'm so confused at the moment. I feel like anything and everything I do is just going to be thrown back at me. If I trusted my driving skills a little better I'd race over there and we'd elope. I have more money then anyone else I've met we'd be able to survive forever.. however I can only dream... ~~

~Depressed ImI

[Slayden]

Her parents have jurisdiction over her at her age so she couldn't move in with you anyway unless her parents allowed it. I don't know for sure about the laws in Australia, but here in the States you need the signature of the parent of a minor to marry him/her. If this is the same in Australia, eloping is out of the picture too. There is nothing you can do. Sorry.

My ex was torn away from me entirely due to distance too. I won't go into detail because it'll just make you feel worse and that's the last thing you need right now.

This time, age does count because it's the hammer of the law. It's beyond what I can advise and out of your hands.

I hope you are upset primarily because you won't see her as much as oppose to not being able to losing your virginity. Don't feel bad about the virginity issue. After all, I lost mine not even a year ago (also due to a complicated distance factor; don't ask.).

[daniel2]

No I'm not interested about my verginity. As for age here. You can leave home at age 12 as long as someone else will take you in. Those are our laws. You do not need your parents permission because our laws state that while you are under someones roof you abide by their rules as long as they are fair and `just.

Ella can leave and say goodbye any time she wants. She just might make things worse if she does this. Shes going to ask her mum when she gets back about Sunday and have a serious talk to her as well. We'll see what happens. She might stay a whole week on Easter.

As for eloping yes that IS illegal. But when you elope you aren't caught. Also if Ella willfully left with me her parents cannot do a thing except hope shes ok.

[Slayden]

God I wish I was born in Australia. :189bbdde: :em019: :sob:

My day of happiness just went right out the window...


Man you remind me so much of my previous relationship. Tweak it a little and our circumstances would be identical. You seem to have a few more options open to you than I did however. So what are you going to do? It seems that it primarily depends on her.

[daniel2]

Well I don't know what options I have. I'm going to talk to her mother regardless of the circumstances and I'm going to explain that I'm not a dangerous person who doesn't want into her daughters pants. (White lie).
Basically by being more mature then she is expecting me too be I'm going to try and remove the bar her mother has set. Her father chooses to have no say in the whole matter so I wont be speaking to him unless he wants to talk to me, which I am more then happy to.
I don't know whats happening tomorrow, I'll give an update. Shes cleaning her room as I speak and tending the chickens simply because she wants her mum to come back see her commitment to making her mum happy and then be on her mums good side after her mum came back from the hospital.
So the next time I see her mum I'm going to have a serious talk to her, nicely and professionally because I know how to address my "superiors".

She'll find out whats happening tonight in about 2 and a half hours. So I'll have to sit tight. I don't think her mum is going to bury her again after what she said on Friday crushed my girls chest. Anyway we'll see how it goes. Fingers crossed. I know more or less for a fact if she comes tomorrow we'll more then likely have sex.

UPDATE: I just got off the phone to her. Her mum is home and Ella is going to talk to her now. She'll be on the internet later.

[Unknown81888]

Wow everyone's advice is really good @_@

My only advice after reading his story was:

Tell her the truth! Haha...I know it sounds stupid, maybe a bit noobish, with a side order of lame, but you know what they say: "The truth shall set you free"

You're all probably going to ask am I nuts or that this advice is horrible, but think about it this way:

The 2 of them love each other so in the spirit of love, the girl would probably agree to give her virginity if the guy wants sex so bad -_-;

If this advice doesn't sound good to you here's part two:

When girls want something, it goes within a time-frame since they change their minds fast on a LOT of stuff....Just don't miss out next time she asks =p

And if THAT advice didn't work for you here's part 3:

There's a drug called Ruphie where it's undetectable to smell and taste, the drug works wounders, too much can kill the person, too little and the effect won't be good, but just the right amount can knock a person out after 20minutes exact time, and for exactly 6 hours and they would have no memory what-so-ever after the drug wears out, if they try to remember, their head would hurt @_@ Oh, and also the after effect is good = ) They can have the ability to learn stuff faster, like how to play an instrument, but would have no memory of how they learned it = / Drug with her with that :JFBQ00213070516A:

:hot: Yeah....part 3 is a long joke....but part 1+2 is the best advice a man like me can give heh...Sorry for not helping much @_@

And sorry to the people who think my advice is crap -_-; I have low confidence in myself so I'm saying this line as a back-up precaution >.<

[daniel2]

Ok her mum said no. So it's a no. She basically said that she didn't want any part in it.
I'm going to try and organise something for this week, instead of her going to school for a day.
When easter starts.. which is along way away she'll come over for a week.
4 weeks from now I'll see her on the weekend. Everything WILL be sorted by then.

Thanks for your help Slayden. I did my best but while she lives under her mothers thumb shes going to have to bite the bullet.

~ImI

EDIT: Unknown81888 wtf did you even read the thread? She wants to make love with me. We've sorted that out, shes not scared of it anymore. Her mum is just being a bitch. Thats the problem now. You wasted your time replying. Sorry but you obviously didn't read anything..

[Unknown81888]

Ok her mum said no. So it's a no. She basically said that she didn't want any part in it.
I'm going to try and organise something for this week, instead of her going to school for a day.
When easter starts.. which is along way away she'll come over for a week.
4 weeks from now I'll see her on the weekend. Everything WILL be sorted by then.

Thanks for your help Slayden. I did my best but while she lives under her mothers thumb shes going to have to bite the bullet.

~ImI

EDIT: Unknown81888 wtf did you even read the thread? She wants to make love with me. We've sorted that out, shes not scared of it anymore. Her mum is just being a bitch. Thats the problem now. You wasted your time replying. Sorry but you obviously didn't read anything..

Ahahaha...I know -_-; I got lazy after reading your part of the story, I neglected all the advice giving the others made @_@...*Sigh* I feel more pathetic than...I dunno..lol

Sorry I wasted you time -_-;

[daniel2]

It's ok honestly. You should have just read the whole thread or not worried about replying. I do however thankyou for your input.

[Unknown81888]

It's ok honestly. You should have just read the whole thread or not worried about replying. I do however thankyou for your input.

:wakuwaku: Thanks, that's inspiring! Never once got a "Thanks" in a forum beofre from now on I'll actually READ EVERYTHING!! (I'm serious...)

Well, I look forward to your conquer in this heated battle = ) I'll be rooting for you!

[Slayden]

Thanks for your help Slayden. I did my best but while she lives under her mothers thumb shes going to have to bite the bullet.

You're welcome. Sorry everything didn't go as planned. I mean it when I say I know what you are going through. It really is nearly identical to what happened to me, except I was in your girlfriend's position.

:wakuwaku: Thanks, that's inspiring! Never once got a "Thanks" in a forum beofre from now on I'll actually READ EVERYTHING!! (I'm serious...)

Wow this is rare. e$#f A spammer who learns from his mistakes? I'm not being sarcastic either. I'm glad he has sorted that out.

[daniel2]

Hmmm at the moment. Defiantly doing something soon with her, instead of her going to school.
Shes having so many problems with her mum, all the stress is undoing all her exercise and healthy eating.

I think I'll grab her from school and take her back to my place. Then take her back in the afternoons for her to catch the bus.