[Kenpachi God]

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[Only registered and activated users can see links. ]
[Only registered and activated users can see links. ]
[Only registered and activated users can see links. ]

For those of you who were smart enough to pay attention in some of my posts know I'm an Army veteran. The links above show what I was discharged early for and why I think like I do. In some ways I am somewhat Wise beyond my years and then there are times I show that maybe we did come from monkey's. I am a masochist that's no lie! My skin and blade have fought a bloody war for years with neither side winning. I have attempted suicide in the last year, But have grown stronger and weaker in many ways since then. My life is one of "reality Questioning?" Due to how I think I can never grasp what is life. I [being the only object I can attest to be real and not an illusion of my perception] have a hard time trying to live life in the sense of what to do that is me with out being me? I don't plan for the future like most people do, Whats the point to plan the next 5 years of your life if you die next week? I live day to day so I know I lived somehow? But what's beyond life beyond the hyper-religous bullshit we hold like a life line of sanity? Every 1 has this theory or this belief but that's not in my percived reality, The religion I do study is one of the 13 Sub-sects of Shinto. I know [I'm just another gaijin trying to adopt a rlgion that's not native to my ancestry] but out of all of the Psuedo-Hells/heavens it proved it's self more than anything.But let's get past that When it comes to love I conflict alot [I just recntly figured this out] There are times I'm extremly distant and volitile and times when I wanna Snuggle all night.
For those of you who want to truly send a friend request make sure you read this,I'm tired of half friends I need real friends or maybe just some1 to talk to that can finnaly help that doesn't work for a department of health that's just says "how does that make you feel insde when you feel these emotions?"

[DeadSilent]

Ok? .

[Kenpachi God]

well instead of trying to send pm's explaining my "ping-ponging" mentality i went ahead and tried to explain myself best i could.

[Taser]

it ok. i understand. i have a few people who are like u in a way. One in the army, hes bipolar and schizo. but it ok.

[dragonforce08]

i can relate to your rapid temporary changes in disposition. and im a good listener if you just need someone to listen to you blow off steam.

[CinnamonToast]

Have you considered a nihilistic/existentialist outlook?

[Kenpachi God]

not sure My mind has been in every cespool of thinking at least once or more so maybe i swam it not long ago.but to those who responded with some type of reasonable response i thank you there maybe times i call on your aid in some type of mental stress. i hope all of you can help when it hits.

[CinnamonToast]

Just try looking at all of your problems nihilistically/existentially. It'll put a lot of your struggles into perspective if you can eliminate the delusions of meaning and purpose. If you don't like the viewpoint or it scares you (did me) then drop it.

[Kenpachi God]

you mean like supplementing reality with fake notions of its self?

[CinnamonToast]

I mean proposing the notion to youself that all meaning - good/bad, wrong/right - are all just coping mechanisms created by the human brain to comprehend information at a faster rate.

We group a certain number of actions under the 'classification' of right and vice versa for wrong so that we don't have to deeply examine the ethics of our actions to act morally.

Likewise we classify people as tall/short, lean/fat, attractive/unattractive to simplify the question - do we want to waste time associating with them?

Just a few examples but I hope it helps.