[Vordreller]

You often see(around here anyway) a lot of good guys(job, decent figure, smart, caring) without girlfriends. I know some guys and they all say that they've had girlfriends before(proof enough, like cards, messages, gifts and such).

But in the end, their girlfriends all left them for other guys. Most of the time, these guys are manipulative jerks who only care about sticking their dick between the girl's legs and having someone to cook their meals and clean their houses for them.

These guys are pretty obvious, and still these girls leave their good guy for these jerks. i know some mothers around here who complain "why did she leave him, I told her somany times I approved and that he was a good guy, and she left him for that bastard"


Mothers warn, yet the girls don't care. They go for those jerks and when you ask them about it, they say that they "weren't content" in that previous relationship.
Ask them if they're content now, and the answer is usually some non-understandable muttering and "suuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuure...".


So girls, I ask you: why do you do it? What's not satisfactory about a guy who's allready good, a guy you don't need to change?
How is it that women seem to go for the men who are total asshats, for the sole reason that they can "change" them.

If not you, think about other women in general and girls you might know who've done this. What are your thoughts about it and why do you think some girls just want a guy that they "made" themselves.

here's a nice example: [Only registered and activated users can see links. ]
Also,be carefull what you say: [Only registered and activated users can see links. ]

[BurningSoul]

That is as ordinary as pie . It's been like that , it is like that , and it will be like that , hopefully not for long .
But yeah , it'd be interesting to see what you ladies have to say about that matter .
In my opinion such women which go after the badass-moron hunk types aren't pretty bright themselves . It's not like they'll have a good , or any future with this kind of guys .

[Vordreller]

Originally Posted by BurningSoul That is as ordinary as pie . It's been like that , it is like that , and it will be like that , hopefully not for long . But yeah , it'd be interesting to see what you ladies have to say about that matter . In my opinion such women which go after the badass-moron hunk types aren't pretty bright themselves . It's not like they'll have a good , or any future with this kind of guys .

Trailerpark, 7 kids, guy who beats her up when he gets home caus he was expecting steak instead of pork :P

[onydja]

well, i dont think this is something that always happens here, at least...

Here is more common the guy leaves the girls as they change their clothes... But back to the subject, i think some girls think they can change this guy behavior, what is impossible because no one changes for the others, and just a little comment you just can't choose who you are in love with, is something that happens and many times this happens with the wrong person...

[Vordreller]

Originally Posted by onydja no one changes for the others

That is absolute bullcrap. People change for other people all the time. You just don't notice it.

The rest, I agree with

[raginu]

@Vordreller
Why is it "absolute Bullcrap" ?... its her point of view...
And No, that's not 100% true, not everyone change.... I have tried to ... But in the end I realized that I am what I gotta be ....
The other person gotta love You the way You are...


And about the girls that do such thing... All I got to say is:
"Self-Determination" ....

( I dont know why it so different from the portuguese Expression : "Livre Arbítrio" , But that's what I found at the dictionary :P )

There's no "logic reason" for them to leave their partners... But they "simply" feel like and do ...
Well.. I did hear about things like that.... And the only thing I can say is that, from the reports that I heard, the girls which did that totally regret...

[Vordreller]

Originally Posted by raginu @Vordreller Why is it "absolute Bullcrap" ?... its her point of view... And No, that's not 100% true, not everyone change.... I have tried to ... But in the end I realized that I am what I gotta be .... The other person gotta love You the way You are...

You'd be suprised howmuch a person changes in their life.
Take all fathers in the world for instance. If there's one thing all boys hate then it's to go shopping for clothes(in general). But who takes them? Their fathers, and their fathers check out all the clothes and other stuff and they're not bothered by it. Weren't those fathers boys too once?

All it takes to change is determination and goals you can achieve.
Like, people who drink or eat too mcuh say "I'm never eating/drinking too much again".
That's never gonna work. Because you can never reward yourself. You can never say "good job" because the timespan is too long. "Forever" is way too long. One day is a beter goal. "I'm not drinking/eating too much today" is much better. Then, at the end of the day, you can be proud of your accomplished goal.

And even if you can't last that day, don't stop. That's like baking 500 cookies and throwin them all away because one cookie didn't have the exact amount of chocolate chips in it...

Every moment in your life is a new chance. The only requirement is that you do it yourself, with no outside help.

Everybody can change, as long as they have a goal or motivation.

Originally Posted by raginu And about the girls that do such thing... All I got to say is: "Self-Determination" .... ( I dont know why it so different from the portuguese Expression : "Livre Arbítrio" , But that's what I found at the dictionary :P ) There's no "logic reason" for them to leave their partners... But they "simply" feel like and do ... Well.. I did hear about things like that.... And the only thing I can say is that, from the reports that I heard, the girls which did that totally regret...

Parents always tell their children not to play with fire. But every child does so anyway. The reason they stop doing it is because they got burned. That's the only way they learn: through failure. Failure means you at least tried and experienced things. That experience is something nobody can ever take away from you. You are more experienced then before. Use that experience to succeed next time. Don't get stuck on failure though... that's just plain sad...

[nike_kid]

some girls don't get to experience these failures because they're too controlled by their family. These tend to choose the bad boys more...my guess is for the freedom in life.

[raginu]

Its not like that for everyone.. You can't just go generalizing everything.... And about the "father" going to shop... I think its way more related to maturity than personallity Changes..... And as I said... You cant generalize it... My Father hates shopping.. and Still hates... so Its ALWAYS my mom that shops with me, or I just shop myself... lol..
A person's personality may change... of course.. as I said, each person is different...
But dont confuse changing a Habit with changing your Personality..
These are 2 different things.... For example...
Wheter i'm fat or thin... Tall or short.... I'll still be the way I am ... I'll still enjoy the same stuff... and think the same way....

Originally Posted by Vordreller That is absolute bullcrap. People change for other people all the time. You just don't notice it. The rest, I agree with

Originally Posted by Vordreller Everybody can change, as long as they have a goal or motivation.

Everybody CAN change... that's the magic word... CAN .. but not everyone DOES..

Originally Posted by Vordreller Parents always tell their children not to play with fire. But every child does so anyway. The reason they stop doing it is because they got burned. That's the only way they learn: through failure. Failure means you at least tried and experienced things. That experience is something nobody can ever take away from you. You are more experienced then before. Use that experience to succeed next time. Don't get stuck on failure though... that's just plain sad...

That may be a good point....But once again its not like that to everyone.... I'm not saying I never did something that my parents told me NOT to do .... But not everything you necessarily need to experience to define whether it is going to be good for your life or not .....
Drugs for example, I dont do drugs.. Never did... and never will... But I know people which got into... And got really deep.... Like needed psychiatric help.... Did they get into It without knowing the risks? .. No... they had all kinds of information access... They did it on their Own... knowing the risks.... So Why does a girl dump a nice guy to stay with a jerk ? ... Womem know.... Womem are usually much aware of US men than we are about them .... So its not something like " Ohhh.. He's such an awesomeee guyy "... I know there were cases like this ... But still, not all of them are... So as I said, I dont know the answer, they do it own their own risk.

All I can say is, once again: "Self-Determination"...

As you said, the getting burned thing, many know they're going into deep shit... But why ?... So Its not like "I gotta experience it to feel the pain"....
In my opnion only a sadist would think that way...

[Vordreller]

Originally Posted by raginu Its not like that for everyone.. You can't just go generalizing everything.... And about the "father" going to shop... I think its way more related to maturity than personallity Changes..... And as I said... You cant generalize it... My Father hates shopping.. and Still hates... so Its ALWAYS my mom that shops with me, or I just shop myself... lol.. A person's personality may change... of course.. as I said, each person is different... But dont confuse changing a Habit with changing your Personality.. These are 2 different things.... For example... Wheter i'm fat or thin... Tall or short.... I'll still be the way I am ... I'll still enjoy the same stuff... and think the same way.... Everybody CAN change... that's the magic word... CAN .. but not everyone DOES.. That may be a good point....But once again its not like that to everyone.... I'm not saying I never did something that my parents told me NOT to do .... But not everything you necessarily need to experience to define whether it is going to be good for your life or not ..... Drugs for example, I dont do drugs.. Never did... and never will... But I know people which got into... And got really deep.... Like needed psychiatric help.... Did they get into It without knowing the risks? .. No... they had all kinds of information access... They did it on their Own... knowing the risks.... So Why does a girl dump a nice guy to stay with a jerk ? ... Womem know.... Womem are usually much aware of US men than we are about them .... So its not something like " Ohhh.. He's such an awesomeee guyy "... I know there were cases like this ... But still, not all of them are... So as I said, I dont know the answer, they do it own their own risk. All I can say is, once again: "Self-Determination"... As you said, the getting burned thing, many know they're going into deep shit... But why ?... So Its not like "I gotta experience it to feel the pain".... In my opnion only a sadist would think that way...

So in other words, as long as it's not the same for everyone, it's not safe enough to try and change it?