[Athalen]

I guess this is not so much "Ask a girl." as "Ask anybody who's been dumped."

A while ago I came out of a relationship that I didn't really expect to end, and I gotta say it didn't feel good. Now what I'm wondering is for all you people out there who have been on the not so fun end of a break-up:

How long did it feel like everything was crap?
Did you hate the person for it?
What else influenced your feelings on it, and how it is today.

For me, I spent about a year and a half slipping between feeling like *explicative* and not really caring. And mostly hated myself and had an intense blow to my ego as well as a sense of failure, but no hard feelings twords my ex. But she got a new boyfriend a few months later, who is a cool guy and I like. But I haven't really talked to the girl since, despite us being in close proximity for most of our day.

[Satsu]

.... wow... xD DEEP shit here =O considering i know you and all...

umm No.

Here's the idea =/ if you still like the girl, do whatever you can to be her friend. even though you know you wont rise much higher on the ladder anyway.

if you actually dislike her then heck screw being her friend.

but i dont think i answered ur question. =_=

How long did it feel like everything was crap? since its been a year and a half apprarently for you. Thats too long. Forgive and Forget. =O look above for what to do if u like/dislike her
Did you hate the person for it? You shouldnt hate her for it. i mean... people change. you cant help it. but remember there's always someone else for you. plenty of fish in the sea. NO screw that saying.. uhh OH PLENTY OF NOODLES IN A CUP RAMEN =]
What else influenced your feelings on it, and how it is today.... Get over it. be sad, but not sad for that long, and sooner or later you'll be able to deal with being around her.

-Satsu

P.S.
~~If this is who i think it is... DOT. DOT. DOT.

[Athalen]

Originally Posted by Satsu

.... wow... xD DEEP shit here =O considering i know you and all...

umm No.

Here's the idea =/ if you still like the girl, do whatever you can to be her friend. even though you know you wont rise much higher on the ladder anyway.

if you actually dislike her then heck screw being her friend.

but i dont think i answered ur question. =_=

How long did it feel like everything was crap? since its been a year and a half apprarently for you. Thats too long. Forgive and Forget. =O look above for what to do if u like/dislike her
Did you hate the person for it? You shouldnt hate her for it. i mean... people change. you cant help it. but remember there's always someone else for you. plenty of fish in the sea. NO screw that saying.. uhh OH PLENTY OF NOODLES IN A CUP RAMEN =]
What else influenced your feelings on it, and how it is today.... Get over it. be sad, but not sad for that long, and sooner or later you'll be able to deal with being around her.

-Satsu

P.S.
~~If this is who i think it is... DOT. DOT. DOT.

You cheated! You already know about the situation in RL, so this thread is for sharing what you would do. I eventually agreed with basically all that you said. However found it a while before I started to like someone else again, and would have serious doubts whenever I did.

[wolf]

I've ben dumped but it didn't realy effect me that much. The guy was a jerk and I only got to vist him on weekends, when he wasn't in trouble for doing something stupid. Also, the only reson he dumped me was because I told him off everytime he got in trouble. I was trying to help him but he took it the wroung way, oh well at least I have lots of things to talk about with my friends now.

[Uchiko]

This is a good discussion, so I'll go ahead and put my two cents in. =)

How long did it feel like everything was crap? Oh, for a long time. The girl in question I had been with for four years, and we'd even talked about marriage. When she said it was over, it was just...like someone shot a harpoon through my chest, you know? It took close to a year for me to truly get over her...sad, I know lol...but during that time, I ended up meeting someone else who made me even happier.
Did you hate the person for it? Not so much her as myself. My thoughts were only of the mistakes I'd made in the relationship and how they had probably influenced the end result heavily.
What else influenced your feelings on it, and how it is today. Eventually, after I started seeing more and more of this new girl, things started to click. Just, screw it, she's done with me and she's found someone else, there's no point in thinking about it anymore. I took the chance and opened my heart to the girl I'd met during that time...and we're happily together to this day. =)

Hope this helps some people who need advice. Even if you're heartbroken, don't close your eyes to the other people around you...you may miss a great chance if you do.

[Athalen]

Uchiko, I totally agree with everything you said, except for it being "sad" that you took a year to get over her, I mean if you've been in a relationship for a while and now it's gone I would think that it shows how much you care for others the more it takes for you to recover. Kind of a good thing among ad times I guess. And I would agree with your second answer too, I really started to focus in on the things that I did that torn my relationship apart.

[Satsu]

haha i DID NOT CHEAT =O xD you never said i couldnt respond lol.

i responded honestly =] and i was thinking about a GENERIC situation. not your specific one. haha

[Pane]

I've been dumped but i lost my love the the others each time, i was dissapointed but it's not hard.

[Silmeria]

How long did it feel like everything was crap?
when we couldnt do anything else than fight everyday.....and hurt each other...because the bad momments where to happen ofthen than good momments
Did you hate the person for it?
a little since i would say my feelings havent changed from that person, i did take it personally.
What else influenced your feelings on it, and how it is today.
how is today? crappy cannot love someone, yet you have to get a girl to have some fun(sex going out, talking) since you feel weird and lonely when you are not with a person of another sex that you can call "love", "baby" or any close words to them.

[daniel2]

Yeah I've been dumped. Many many times. Big deal at the time, now I don't give a sh1t anymore.