[Urufu]

Originally Posted by kite98765

Well, that's that. Thanks for your reviews. Now I'll hang myself from a bridge. God help the world!

don't give up! this story wasn't so good but maybe u'll get better at writing as time goes on....

[kite98765]

Sorry to bump this, but after a year of thinking, I know this story sucks. Plus, I pretty much lied about me being the author. My, admittedly so, girlfriend came up with this. She's a little, how can i say this, sexually feverish? no, that's not it..... How bout this, she'd really love to be on playboy, how bout that? She's the kind of girl that would pop out of a cake nude sorta person. Really sassy. # days ago she added to the idea, by saying that if I was her bra, she'd make me into an elastic one, cuz she likes hers to stretch. Sorry, random sentence. Anyway, sorry about bumping this. Just felt like explaining myself more. For all who commented, I showed her the comments and she was pretty much content with them. Pretty much what she guessed people would say. Sorry again for the bump. She's making me do this.

[pretmaker]

Well... the story can be much better... The intro is ok for a bit. But the development is slow and it jumps everywhere... There is nothing to hold me as a reader...

Although I doubt it that you/she will still write te same...

But it can be a nice fantasy in your head. But if it is in your head then keep it there. In the end you are one of the only people who will understand it and who is able to enjoy it to its fullest.

[kite98765]

lol, she appreciates that

[pretmaker]

Did she already write a new story or has she stopped writing them down??? :P

[kite98765]

She's pretty much got a file cabinet of them now. and she ends up sexually playing and harassing me to test her previous ones and come up with new ones. I, surprisingly, I don't really mind

[pretmaker]

See if you can post another one :)

[kite98765]

seriously? u want her to post another one? what, do u like them or something? or u just wanna see how much she's progressed?

[pretmaker]

Both...

First of all... It is pretty unique to get a view into the mind of another person... And normally people progress with their writing capabilities as long as they keep writing... That is normal and to be expected...


Let's just say that I am interested in how bold she makes it....

[Skuld]

Very imaginative o_o; Not very well organized though. Unique ideas though I guess?