Approaching your partner regarding H

[emersedsin]

In my case:
You love anime right?
me>yea
You like hentai?
me>(tentatively)some of them are nice yes...
Dont evade the question,i know you watch porn,but do u watch hentai?
me>....yea

Then we left it at that. Give ur gf free access to ur computer. Put some porn or hentai there and let her find it. If she says something abt it(probably will),depending on her reaction you should talk to her accordingly. If she's open minded and cool, i doubt she'll mind. If its bad,then get a good friend with no sense of pride to back u up and tell her "Oops..sry bro. thats mine.accidentally left that in there.."

In my opinion,Alot of it depends on ur body language,the mood and atmosphere and ultimately on ur gf... Goodl Luck!

[connerj]

Slayden, I think you may be on to something here as we already watch anime together so this may be an angle worth pursuing. Thanks!

ImI, you're just a lucky bugger xD

Silmeria, I'm thinking of taking a leaf outta your book and just coming out with it, interesting that that was "how it went with my ex" xD (I apologise if that joke is in bad taste).

Emersedsin, the whole "being discovered/caught" idea is very appealing, although I have no friends that I can discuss h-anime with (not one of them, that I know of watches H), let alone blame it on!

(Or maybe I should just be a man and tell her!)

Thank you all for your ideas/thoughts/contributions/experiences. As you can see I'm in a real mixed-bag situation as I still don't know which way to approach h-anime with my gf (we're living together now too! xD), and I keep considering all ways people have discussed here.

Argh, I guess it's become such a large interest (I tend not to watch porn anymore and go straight to the h) that I feel she should know what I'm getting my kicks to.

Sorry for blabbing on and thank you all.

If anyone else has anything to share please do.

[Daniel.]

I suppose I'm lucky, but well that night I took a huge gamble, I had my backup statement if she was like ewwww and I didn't let her know that I was really into the stuff I just said that I thought the same thing she was so I decided to go and snoop around for some GarnetxZidanexBeatrix Doujinshi and I found some, it wasn't stored on my computer and I said its not like a hobby I don't excessively look at it, (which may be a little untrue), although I say I'm not too excessive...

[emersedsin]

It just occured to me that telling ur gf u watch hentai/porn is similar to confessing ur feelings to a girl.

Its a gamble either way with 50-50 percent chances of getting rejected or getting accepted.
Its all up to you anyways..

[toxicteabag]

i never told my ex about my stash, she was too..... Judging.
bet she would talk too her whole family and friends about it, thats what she allways did.
So many humiliations :(

[Darkfire31]

This advice is only for those of you who watch H, if you watch both H and Porn this probably won’t be of much help. It should be noted also that I've never had a girlfriend, so my advice probably should be followed dutifully; however, I feel like I should add my two cents.

First of all, if you decide to inform her of your love of H, it is paramount that you ascertain her opinions on pornography in general first, don’t tell her about your love of H to find out her opinions. If her opinions on pornography are very bad you’re going to have to stay in the closet with your love of H. If her response is simply unfavorable, you will have a few choices available to you.

The first option is to try to make her understand why you love of H. If she likes anime, you have an advantage, all you need to do in that case is tell her that while watching anime you found yourself looking for a complete depiction of romance, and that H gives you the full experience of what love is. (1) if she responds positively (2) if it’s negative.

(1)If she responds well, you need only find a H-manga or H-movie that has a strong romantic undertone to solidify your case. (For this I would recommend Take On Me, or Hatsu Inu) Depending on her, you should choose the appropriate medium I would have to recommend an H-movie, if she isn’t in to manga, you don’t want her thinking too much about your hobby while she reads. It may require a little research and asking around to find the right type of H for your girlfriend but the end result should be favorable.

(2) So she responded negatively, you poor man, in this instance you may need to abandon your H or learn to hide it from her. This needs to be done because you told her you like and look at H related material. Once you let the cat out of the bag there’s no getting it back in there. I’m sorry about your loss.

The second method you getting your girl to accept you watching H related material, is to use a process of desensitization. To achieve this you need to start watching anime together, if your are half the man you should be you should already know your girlfriends tastes, choose an appropriate anime to watch as a couple. (I recommend starting with Escaflone it’s a romance with depth, drama, and action.) Then, devise a path to anime’s with more Ecchi content, (I recommend Prism Ark,) monitoring her responses is key, once she has been desensitized enough slowly move toward H related content. Her respond in one of two ways; she will start to accept the H you are exposing her too and get frisky because of it, or she will be resistant and you are stuck returning to your closet to enjoy your H.

While the second method is a much safer bet; it is important to remember, to each his own. My methods are based in logic and human psychology, (hey, the university degree has to pay off somehow) in theory they should work, but hey in theory communism works.

There is a subspecies of Women, it was already mentioned indirectly and that species is the Fangirl. I you are dating a Fangirl you are the luckiest piece of feces alive. Often exposing a Fangirl to erotic fan fiction of the object of their Fandom is enough to get them watching and accepting your love of H. They usually have friends that love Yaoi, Yuri, and possibly Hentai, so it requires little force to change their minds about you looking at H material.

Personally, I plan to stop looking at H related material once I get a girlfriend, because she will hopefully be all the H I could want. That’s not to say I wont look at ecchi, because I’m only human.

[Slayden]

This is pretty much what I said in post #7. Except I don't have a psychology degree, rather, I rely on observation, empathy, and intuition.

[toxicteabag]

quite nice step by step tutorial there, darkfire31!
might be something to consider when telling my next GF, for now its all freedom with no one i need to tell :)

[connerj]

I went out on a limb and told my girlfriend that I could find cartoons a lot more sexy than some of the more 'normal' attractions. And funnily enough she agreed with me! So yeah, I guess I've taken the first steps in letting her know. Although Darkfire made me think a quite a lot with this:

Originally Posted by Darkfire31

Personally, I plan to stop looking at H related material once I get a girlfriend, because she will hopefully be all the H I could want. That’s not to say I wont look at ecchi, because I’m only human.

I guess this kinda made me think about me and my gf. The initial thought was that I'm being a bit 'sad'. On closer inspection, we still get each other off like when we were first together so there's no problems there (as in H-anime isn't a 'replacement').

I guess 'otaku' is just a description I'll just have to get used to ;)