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LightElf · 02-26-2008, 06:07 PM

Erm...well I am not very sure.

A story's supposed to have a conflict you know...some sort of a problem which the Characters face. And a story is generally supposed to have an exposition, climax, and a resolution, very generally speaking.

Your story I think...lacks a bit of a conflict in my opinion. Everything is so "idealistic" and devoid of any real problems. I mean all the college girls being supermodels and they all falling for the boys and so forth...and being able to sneak on them as men is really a nice dream to have for typical men, but the story would be a bit boring without any sort of a problem. The only thing I could really call a "conflict" here is the college girls' attempt to find a solution to the problem of catching the boys and turning them into their clothes....but I am not sure if you can really call that an interesting enough conflict to make the readers read on.

But somehow it wasnt such a bad story to read...you got some nice bit of imaginative thinking so it shows that you can be quite creative, and whilst I dont see a very conspicuos conflict in the story, I think you made up for it using some sexual connotations to perhaps keep the readers to read on by getting "aroused" in a sense.

so all in all you could make the story more interesing if you can combine that imagination of yours especially in the sexual sense with a bit more of a "conflct" to perhaps cause a bit more tension and suspense in the story.

02-26-2008, 06:07 PM	#3
LightElf Ifrit Join Date: Feb 2008 Gender : Location: Germany, but will be soon in the UK for study Posts: 49	Re: A Story of Girls(All Genders Read plz) Erm...well I am not very sure. A story's supposed to have a conflict you know...some sort of a problem which the Characters face. And a story is generally supposed to have an exposition, climax, and a resolution, very generally speaking. Your story I think...lacks a bit of a conflict in my opinion. Everything is so "idealistic" and devoid of any real problems. I mean all the college girls being supermodels and they all falling for the boys and so forth...and being able to sneak on them as men is really a nice dream to have for typical men, but the story would be a bit boring without any sort of a problem. The only thing I could really call a "conflict" here is the college girls' attempt to find a solution to the problem of catching the boys and turning them into their clothes....but I am not sure if you can really call that an interesting enough conflict to make the readers read on. But somehow it wasnt such a bad story to read...you got some nice bit of imaginative thinking so it shows that you can be quite creative, and whilst I dont see a very conspicuos conflict in the story, I think you made up for it using some sexual connotations to perhaps keep the readers to read on by getting "aroused" in a sense. so all in all you could make the story more interesing if you can combine that imagination of yours especially in the sexual sense with a bit more of a "conflct" to perhaps cause a bit more tension and suspense in the story.